To Thine Own Self Be True

What does it mean to be true to your self?

Since I recall not being terribly honest with myself, I think I know what it means; but I do wonder if it really means something else?

Does it mean to regard your strategic interests above other people's strategic interests, as you understand them?   Something ultimately selfish.

I thought it was a quote from an ancient Greek, but it turns out it was Shakespeare.  This implies that the translation was probably less garbled than it would have been, had it been Greek.  Not that I'd understand the subtleties of Elizabethan English any better than a translated Greek.    

Does it mean what it used to?

The trouble with this kind of quote is I don't know what it means.

But I understand now how, when I was a good deal younger, I wouldn't let myself know certain things because I wanted to believe in them.  I was so foolish.

Usually this had something to do with an attractive woman, or her attentions.  I had such a poor opinion of my attractiveness.  Or I wanted something else to be true, so I wouldn't pay attention to facts.

It's not that I dislike myself, but rather I see my flaws; my deep flaws. 

If I had a cat who always did the same stupid thing, I wouldn't hate the cat, or think less of it.  I'd think that it was cute. 

And so I look at myself and smile wryly and maybe even laugh a little bit, as I once again, blithely continue in my delusion.

I'll figure it out later.

 

 

 

Long Term Plans

Now that I'm old, and getting to the point where long term plans would seem Pollyanna like, I'm asking myself what comes after this life.

Not to seem overly dramatic, but after cancer when I was 60, and open heart surgery at 68, I think I see a trend.   

When I had dreams about other people's deaths, I would be them, so I guess I know what it feels like to die, and having one experience that looked like a near death, I can say that mine is different from any I've been experiencing.  

So I know I survive death.  The people who think we all just go dark after death are simply speculating. 

After life, is another life. I've been through the early stages of the transition with a number of people, but I never saw where they went after.

Michael Newton, PhD, wrote a number of books that talk about the destinations and it seems that each one of us knows where to go when we leave this life.  When I died, I simply took off and forgot all about this life, I had a destination and wanted to get there, until I was very rudely put back in my body. 

Probably surprised my keeper. 

It's been a long life, and a pretty good one.  I made a number of mistakes, I think at least one bad one, but nobody gets a manual when you get here, we all kind of learn by doing. 

Finally, I think when we know enough, we die.  I just don't know if I've been scheduled yet or not.

Yours. P.