I have an appointment with my doctor next month and one of the items on the questionnaire I filled out was about death.
How much am I afraid of dying?
I imagine death is an uncomfortable experience, especially if I have to experience all of it while I am awake. Maybe if I were asleep at the time, I wouldn't notice anything strange?
For most people I think, questions about death are dismal.
After all, we imagine so many things about death, and we really don't know what we're talking about.
Unless we've been there, or at least gone for a visit.
I've been to Death's door, and looked in, but I never got beyond the foyer. No matter who I accompanied on that journey, I was never allowed to go any further than the meeting that so many had with someone who was going to explain some things to them.
In the near death experience that I thought I had over a decade ago, I took a route I was unfamiliar with because I never experienced it with anybody else. I simply arced off the planet, as a sky blue blob and looked back at the clouds below me, as though over my shoulder, and said to myself: "that life is over."
I had no idea that I would think so little about my life just past, about which I had thought so much while I was alive.
So I guess a truism would be that after life, the life just lived is not the highest order of business.
Earlier this last summer, perhaps mid or late summer, I dreamed about a discussion I was having with my supervisor. He was dressed as a "Father Confessor" and we were in the bowels of some Byzantine cathedral, in his office.
I was dressed in a business suit which is something I never wear, and have not worn in years.
It reminded me of discussions I've had with a number of supervisors in my professional life.
The part of the talk I remember was me reporting that I would work for another year and then die.
How could the me sitting in that chair be so glib about my death?
Maybe my higher self, the one doing the talking, isn't that concerned about my life after all?
